


Hallelujah

by freckledfoxes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, but then not, kind of sad, some blood, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledfoxes/pseuds/freckledfoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things go horribly wrong on a hunt.</p>
<p>Based off of the song by Leonard Cohen and the cover by Jeff Buckley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hallelujah

Cas’ ears were ringing as he slumped forward onto his hands and knees, blood dripping from his mouth and nose and somewhere above his eyes, though he couldn’t be sure where that injury was exactly. His whole head hurt; it throbbed as blood pulsed up to his brain and he could hardly hear his own thoughts, let alone what was happening around him. His mouth moved, and he tried to force out a, “No! Dean, _please_!” but he wasn’t sure if it had come out that way. Not with all of the blood currently on his tongue.

He was hauled up again, his feet dangling below him, toes barely touching the dirty concrete below.

“ _Dean_ ,” Cas gasped, blood spattering down onto Dean’s expressionless face. “ _Ths in’t you!_ ”

Cas grabbed at the arm Dean held him up with, tried to pry it from his throat. Dean threw him back against the wall, Cas’ head snapping against it with a sickening crack. Cas must have blacked out for a moment, because the next thing he knew he was being yanked up to his knees by the lapels of his bloodied jacket.

“D-ean…” Cas choked out, blinking up at his friend. Dean’s eyes were black now, darkened by the smoke that had possessed him. “Dean, please… Ple-ease… I know—“ Cas coughed, bloodcoming up and bubbling past his lips. He groaned and his head drooped back on his neck. “I know you’re in there—Dean…”

Dean’s lips twitched in a small smirk. “Dean ain’t home right now, sweetheart. He’s busy bein’ dead in here.”

Cas shook his head, and that just made him dizzier. “No,” he grated out, reaching up to grab the front of Dean’s jacket. “He’s not---Not _dead_. Liar _—“_

“I’m a liar, huh? You think so, sweet?” Dean’s fist tightened in Cas’ collar, lifted him closer. “He’s _begging_ for you to kill me so he can just _die_ already.”

“ _No_ ,” Cas forced through gritted teeth, glaring up into those black eyes. “ _Exor-cizamus te—omnis im—immundus spiritu—_ Agh!” One of Dean’s hands came up to grip Cas’ throat.

“Ah ah ah, I don’t think so, sugar. Ain’t through with you yet,” the demon purred, giving his fingers a squeeze and making Cas gasp.

Cas clawed at Dean’s hand, trying to loosen the hold. “Dean!”

Cas head snapped to the side with another blow to his jaw. He stumbled back onto his elbows when the demon let him go, sharp pain spiking up each of his arms. Cas rolled over onto his hands and knees and tried to crawl over to the knife that lay on the floor across the room, but a chuckle came from behind him just before he was yanked back by a leg. His hands scrambled over the concrete, dragging and leaving bloody trails behind them. His arm rolled over something sharp and he wrapped his hand around. A small, jagged stone.

“As much as he wants to die right now, Castiel, I’m gonna let Dean see this. I’m gonna make him watch as his own hands rip you to pieces. Serves him right after everything the two of you have done. And then I’m gonna ride his ass until I find his brother, and I’m gonna make him watch as I kill him, too.”

The demon gave another hard yank at Cas’ leg and flipped him over onto his back, dropping down to its knees to straddle Cas’ hips. Cas whimpered and tried to pull free, but Dean’s hands wrapped around his throat, squeezing and pressing until Cas couldn’t take even a single breath. He choked, clawing desperately at Dean’s hands, kicking his legs. His head felt like it was going to explode.

Cas still had the stone in his hand and it only took him a moment to decide what to do. He stopped clawing and his hand flew up, hitting the side of Dean’s head hard, the rock in his hand smacking against his skull. The demon screamed in pain and let Cas go to put Dean’s hands to the side of his head.

Cas scrambled to his hands and knees and rushed to grab the knife. His hand closed around it.

“You little fucking _shit_. I’m going to kill you. I’m going to skin the flesh off your bones and—“

Cas turned just as the demon advanced on him and he shoved the knife into Dean’s stomach, hot blood spurting out over his hand. Sparks flickered beneath Dean’s skin as Cas watched in wild-eyed horror, and then it stopped, and Dean slumped forward to his knees, holding his belly.

“C-Cas—“

“Dean… Dean!” Cas caught Dean as he slumped forward, held him close and pulled him into his lap.

“Cas—‘M sorry,” Dean choked. Cas could see red at the corners of Dean’s lips.

“No… no no, Dean. It’s not your fault. Stay awake, okay? I’ll call Sam. He can get us to a hospital.”

“Cas—“

“I’ll call him. They’ll stitch you up. Let me just—“ Cas fumbled with his phone, tears streaking through the blood down his cheeks now.

“Cas, it’s okay—“

“No, no it’s not. It’s not okay. I stabbed you. _I stabbed you!_ I can’t—I can’t heal you. I have to call Sam—“ Cas’ hands shook horribly and he could barely dial.

“Cas. Hey,” Dean reached up and wrapped his hand around the one of Cas’ that held the phone. “It’s okay. I’m okay—“

“Dean, you’re _dying._ I can’t let you die. I can’t have killed you. I _can’t._ ”

Dean gave him a small smile and he took the phone from Cas’ hand. He let it fall to the ground with a clatter. “I don’t think they can fix this, Cas. There’s not enough time.”

Cas shook his head. “No,” he sobbed, his hand falling into Dean’s hair. ‘Dean, no. No—“

“You did what you had to, Cas. You did what you had to do. You did what you were supposed to. Ou didn’t have a choice. It was gonna kill you if you didn’t.”

“I can’t let you die,” Cas whispered. “I can’t let you die by my hand. I can’t.”

“It’s not your fault, Cas. Shh, hey… Just look at me, okay? Just look at me.”

Cas looked down at Dean, his eyes bloodshot and full of tears. One was redder than the other, having taken a pretty bad blow. Dean tried not to wince.

“Just look at me. Look at me and hold me. It’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. And I’ll be waitin’ for you up there. Just don’t come too soon.”

“ _This_ is too soon, Dean. This is too soon for _you!_ ” Cas sobbed.

Dean shook his head. “Get down here, Cas.”

Cas sniffed and leaned down, pressing his forehead to Dean’s. Dean smiled and leaned up a little, pressing his lips to Cas’. Cas didn’t relax, but the tension in his shoulders eased a bit. He still clung to Dean through the kiss. He looked at Dean when he pulled back and watched him, shaking his head.

“What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Just live, Cas. Just live. Help Sammy out. Hang out with Charlie and Kevin. It’ll suck not bein’ there with you, but I’ll save a seat at the Roadhouse for you, okay?”

Cas hiccupped and clung to him, gathering him closer as he felt Dean’s breath come slower.

“ _Baby I've been here before,”_ Cas started to sing, voice shaky and rough. Dean closed his eyes and smiled gently. This was Cas’ favorite song and Cas was singing it for him.

“ _I did my best, it wasn't much. I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch. I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you. And even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the Lord of Song, with nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah—“_

Cas choked out a sob, realizing Dean had gone still sometime while he’d sang. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

“ _Hallelujah._

_Halle-lujah._

_Ha-Hallelujah…_

_Hallelujah.”_

_~_

Dean blinked his eyes open slowly, expecting to feel a lot better than he did. He also expected to be home, back in Lawrence. Or maybe even in the bunker, curled up around the memory of Cas sleeping in his bed.

But he wasn’t.

No, instead, he was lying face up in a hospital bed, heart monitor beeping softly beside him. He looked around in confusion, fingers knotting into the sheets absently.

Cas was slumped in a chair across the room, eyes closed and chest rising and falling with even breaths. Dean couldn’t believe it. He’d survived. Somehow, he hadn’t died from the stab to his gut. He’d lived and here he was. A slow smile spread across his face.

The sound of the door creaking open caught his attention and he turned to see Sam walk into the room. Sam’s face lit up when he saw Dean was away.  
“Dean!” Dean winced, glanced over at Cas, who snuffled quietly and shifted, but didn’t wake. Dean looked back up at Sam.

“Would you keep it down, Sammy? I can see the circles under Cas’ eyes from here.”

“Sorry,” Sam said sheepishly. He pulled a chair over beside the bed and sat down in it, looking up at his brother happily. “Man, it’s good to see you awake finally. You scared the crap out of us.”

Dean sighed. “I thought I was dead. I _should_ be dead.”

“Yeah, well… When Cas called me and you told him not to, you guys forgot to hang up the phone. I heard him crying, so I knew something was wrong. I figured out where you guys were and by some miracle you were still breathing when I got there. Not well, but you were. We got you over here quick. You’ve been out for about a week.”

Dean took a deep breath and looked over at Cas. “Guys’ never gonna let me hunt a demon again.”

“You’ll be lucky if _I_ ever let you hunt a demon ever again.”

Dean snorted and shook his head. He looked at Sam again. “Is he okay?”

“The demon dinged him up pretty good. Doctors couldn’t believe he was conscious. The fixed him up and he’s been in here ever since. I’ve been making sure he eats. He was trying not to sleep, but I made him sleep while I was here. He’s okay, I think. Just worried. He told me what happened… he probably should have gone in for a psych evaluation but he refused when I suggested it.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” He looked over to Cas again.

“Want me to wake him?” Sam asked quietly.

Dean shook his head. “Nah. Let him sleep. Looks exhausted.”

Sam nodded. “I’m sure he is. Are you hungry or anything?”

“Water would be nice,” Dean said. “Maybe some pain meds. I don’t think I even wanna look at knife wound, but it hurts like a bitch.”

Sam gave a small huff of amusement and he stood. “Yeah. Okay, I’ll go find you a nurse.”

Dean smiled. “Thanks, Sammy.”

Dean turned to look at Cas again as soon as Sam was out the door. He looked so peaceful there, so different from the last time Dean had seen him, bloodied and practically hysterical. Dean had thought that was gonna be the last he’d seen of the real Cas for a while. But here he was, sitting not ten feet away and sleeping, all fixed up, just fine. And Dean was alive to see it.

_Hallelujah_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here are the lyrics that Cas chose to sing, if you'd like to know:
> 
> _Baby I've been here before_  
>  I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
>  I used to live alone before I knew you  
>  And I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
>  and love is not a victory march  
>  It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
> 
> _-Jeff Buckley_
> 
> | 
> 
> _I did my best, it wasn't much  
>  I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch  
>  I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
>  And even though it all went wrong  
>  I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
>  With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah_
> 
> _-Leonard Cohen_  
>   
> ---|---


End file.
